The Silence is Mine

Saturday, October 14, 2006

i had a stomach of grouses frm wrk today. compound tt w/ e pressure i am facin in sch right nw. even e most sane person wld become insane. stil, i knew no one wld b ard @ hm to hear me out. my key wld turn the door latch and open me to an empty house, for my mummy and sarah were shoppin at bugis.

so after lunch and some online surfin, i decided to nap, hopin tt when i awake, e bad feelins wld b gone. to e contrary, they didnt. i felt a sinkin heart, and wierd like it sounds, e feelin was tt like someone had wrought my heart while i was slpin.

after a weak attempt to flip thru my notes, i decided to brk free.

donned in a tight fittin tee (tt i didnt change out frm wrk), baggy shorts and sarah's tattered adidas, i gues i was e worse dressed jogger in e park. not tt i realy cared. my heartbeat was in almost flawless tandem w/ my footsteps, and along w/ jay's songs, it felt realy realy gd.

when i came home, they were stil not back yet. surely, it doesnt help tt e 2 persons i yearned to talk to were preoccupied. one was out w/ friends, e other was attendin a birthday party. i chked my hp, no missed smses/calls. but e fact of e matter was both smsed me earlier in e aftnn, but i didnt reply.

then y was i waitin for any smses when i didnt reply?

beats me. but perhaps if my no reply had generated a reply, i wldnt hv felt so alone at tt pt in time.

and then i decided to sign in to msn, wanted to click on a target, any target, to pour evyth out. at tt instance, i saw this:

Onwah says:hey wats ur Blog add? i wanna see the thai boxing pics heheeee

my potential target? not tt i wld hv told her. she wldnt b interested, but then i searched myself thoroughly for words and found tt i was empty. i hv forgotten y i was feelin so aggravated. my uneasiness seemed to be gone w/ e wind.

at a time like this, i seriously cld feel e importance of self-reliant. i gues i can stil cope and tt no one is indispensable in this world.

~~复杂眼泪。~~

我要快乐。=)

Sharon | 5:43 PM
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