Monday, January 09, 2006

i came hm w/ another birthday present today. 2 of my colleagues got sth frm e bodyshp for me.

stms i realy dnt understd y ppl r treatin me so nicely. i seriously dnt think i am as nice to them as they r as nice to me and tt feelin totally sucks.

sadly, i'm not in a very gd mood today and no, no1 agitated me or anyth like tt..i gues it's jus 1 of those days whr u wana b left alone to think and reflect. i hv a thousand and one th on my mind nw and hope desperately for a confidant. but then agn i dnt knw wht exactly is botherin me either. ugh. i cnt explain y i'm feelin so sian suddenly when i was stil actin pretty hyperactive ytd.

tmr: hmm..i'm dfnly gona snuggle up w/ e da vinci code + pack away last sem's sch stuf.

come to think of it, nobody act realised how i was feelin today. my colleagues, e ppl i talked to, my family..none of them asked me wht's wrg. i think i'm gd @ concealin how i feel. well..which in a way is bad.

tho i cnt face e inevitable sadness tt overwhelms me,
it makes me not wanna care, not wanna bother anymore.
shieldin tt farce jus carry too much hope and promise,
way too much.
so much so that i cnt trust myself any longer..
so what if I can bear it for nw?
will i b able to do so in e future?
it's too late. i'm stagnant. i cnt learn.
i understand, yet i do not.

Sharon | 7:56 PM
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