The Silence is Mine

Friday, September 30, 2005

i refuse to forgv myself for e CRLESS MISTKs tt i md for my macro test this mornin. i knew thr was sth wrg smwhr and because of tt, i lost confidence and cldnt solve other parts of e qn which req'd ans frm e 1st part. they r all linked! i freaked out. my mind went blank. mental blockade mode switched itself on..and to top it all, e test was not tt hard..thr'll sure b full scorers..:( e gd th was i figured out wht went wrg after a 1/2 hr has passed and e bad th? well, i didnt finish doin it. so nw i think i shld b on e LHS of e bell-shaped curve. BIG deal. but i stil feel like killin myself. haii..

i mus hv looked realy run dwn coz when i saw jules ltr, she asked me y i looked so sian..hmm..i went for econometrics tutorial and i realy felt hopeless by then le..so i decided to buy my favfav heaven and earth jasmine green tea to cheer myself up. it was sold out @ e 1st vendin mach i saw, e 2nd 1's cashcard reader was faulty and i didnt hv shillings w/ me..how lucky can i get? finally got it @ e 3rd 1. i didnt knw gettin a drink can b such complicated biz. felt btr after i talked to eileen and aft my cls, met up w/ nana. and i told nana abt e screwed up test agn..gues all e last min studyin mus hv taken its toll on me..i jus feel like lettin e whl sch knw i'm a BIG fool!:(

btw nx fri thr's econometrics midterm test frm 6-8pm. e time is perfectly fine if i didnt finish @ 12..but it's not and i am. so i hv to wait 6 miserable hrs and for sth i dnt even want to attend if i hv a choice. thks alot. act we r allowed to brin in 1 A4 size helpsheet..so can some1 pls teach me how do i cramp 6 lectures worth of materials in thr? if e profs realy think it's possible, y not they teach for 6 lectures usin jus 1 A4 size of lecture note? hmph-_-. but nvm, i shall write so small tt if an ant happens to pass by my paper, u cldnt differentiate b/w e words and e ant. o.O

i need to catch up w/ my comp webcast. i hate doin webcasts, but sittin in cls is jus as bad. it is so BORIN. and e worse th is, i removed my s/u option. stupid me and my stupid trust in tt stupid lot. i hate myself. i'm forever makin e wrg decisions..whywhywhy?! but then i like to weave fantasies to console myself (those who r always ard me shld knw this haha)..say, wht if @ e end of ur candidature, to praise u for ur serious atd, in tt u didnt use any of ur s/u options, dean's offc says 3 unused s/us = 1 CAP pt..w*eet!woohoo~! then we'll all b rich:) so to all those who had alr exercised 1 or > of ur s/us.,TOO BAD lah!;P

yeah..right..as if tt has any chance of happenin.

but u cnt blame me for my state of mind nw. i mean, how can u bear to scold some1 who confused her minus signs and ltr even took (1 + 0.8) x 10 to be 9? i'm an incorrigible economist in e mkin. jus kill me.

Sharon | 7:41 PM
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